When Do You Become a Runner?

My daughter (I like to call her that, although she's not actually mine) asked me if I would like to write a post for her blog www.wholeironwoman.com as a guest.  I told her, "Sure, why not!  I'll have something for you tomorrow."  Well, that was two days ago, and I as yet have nothing to give her.  Here's the reason;  her blog is all about running and cycling and swimming--mostly running--and I'm not a runner!!  I mean, I don't think I am-yet.  I would like to call myself one, but I hold runners in such high regard, that I don't know if I'm worthy yet of wearing that title.

 Here's my story:

Six months ago if you asked me if I ran, I'd say you were crazy for thinking such a thing, and that anyone who ran was crazy.  I mean, why would anyone want to run when there are perfectly good cars sitting in the driveway??  I had NEVER in my 44 years of living on this earth even thought that I would ever run.  I had a bad knee, my ankle gave out in a sixth grade game of kick ball, it would make me sweat.......you get the picture.

Then my friend Melissa told me about her son, Jacob.  He has  Becker's Muscular Dystrophy, a degenerative muscle disease that only affects boys.  The recessive gene, from what I understand, is carried by the mother only, and Becker's is one of the rarer forms of MD.  Anyway, Jacob is only 7 years old, and the sweetest little boy you could ever imagine.  His outlook for a normal life is not good.  I don't even want to write about statistics.  Too depressing.

Melissa told me that she was going to raise money on behalf of Jacob for the Parent Project for Muscular Dystrophy by running with a group called "Run For Our Sons."  She told me that she would be running in the Rock n Roll St. Louis Marathon on October 23, 2011 in St. Louis.  "Would you like to come?  We'd love to have you," she said.  Well, she had me at "Jacob."

I don't think Melissa knew that I was anti-running.  And I didn't really have the heart to tell her.  I just wanted to do what I could to help Jacob's cause.  I wanted to raise money.  That was my goal.

And so the WALKING began....

Who Are You?

Or "What do you do?" might be more suitable, because after all, isn't what we "do" who we are?  I mean, when I first meet someone, the first thing I do is exchange names and go right into "What do you do?"

I sometimes struggle with answering that question.  Usually the struggle is more intense when I'm feeling like I don't really have a purpose or something "important" that I'm currently involved in like volunteering at school.  I mean, who wants to do laundry, clean the cat box and make dinner?  Is that what I want my answer to be when someone asks me what I do? Are those things really all that important?  Does that make me who I am?

When I was in my early twenties and just finishing college, I was always sure to point out to the people I met that I was a college graduate and that I would have a career in the near future.  In the meantime I was making ends meet by working in a retail clothing store and making sandwiches in a sandwich shop.  I also worked various jobs with a temporary employment agency.  I was a filing clerk, a mail-room worker sorting out and delivering mail at a large corporation, and a receptionist at an insurance company.  At the time, I felt "less than" because I didn't have what I thought were important jobs.  They were menial.  They didn't matter.  They were the behind-the-scene support jobs that didn't get recognition.  I continued to tell people who asked that I was in the process of looking for a career position and that these jobs were only temporary.

But isn't everything temporary?  Each moment--oops!--you just missed it.  There goes another one.  And another.  Time is passing with each breath, never  to be experienced again.  Really. 

You know that career position I was looking for while I was working all those temporary jobs? Well, I found it!  And guess what?  It was awesome!!  Guess what else!  It was TEMPORARY!   What I mean is that I worked at a wonderful company for six years, and then I quite and got THE best job in the whole world (being a mother), and I don't care anymore if the position I hold is one of status or financial or educational merit.  At this particular job I don't get paid, I sometimes think I stink at it, and lots of times I feel totally unappreciated and unwanted.  But it's also where I get the meaning of life, and why I get up every day with renewed hope in my future. 

What I do temporarily today leads to other things that are temporary today.  And that is how we become who we are today.  Forget about tomorrow.  It will come with all of your today's temporary moments.

So who am I, you ask?  Or more accurately, What do I do?  I am a person who tries to remember every day that what are my temporary circumstances in life are a constant, and the greatest thing about all of it is that I can change my circumstances and thoughts and attitudes about them in a heartbeat! I also remain thankful and humble that I am able to think and feel and be whatever I want!  That's who I am!  Who are YOU?  Think about it for a moment...........

Are You Happy?

Many persons have a wrong idea of what constitutes true happiness. It is not attained through self-gratification but through fidelity to a worthy purpose. ” - Helen Keller

God Is Never Gonna Leave You!

God is never gonna leave you. Never. Nope, not even because of "that." No, not because of "that" either. Uh-uh..."that" won't make Him leave you either. He promised. Trust Him.

(Heb. 13:5)

 

How To Shoo A Cat*

Mix 1 part white vinegar with 1 part water.
Pour into spray bottle.
Mist kitty if you see him misbehavin' and kitty won't be misbehavin' so much anymore!!

*This mixture is not harmful to pets.  They may smell like a dinner salad for awhile, but that's about it!

Miss You Already

I'm heading over to my friend Tammy's house to say goodbye-she's moving today.  So sad to see her go, but so happy for her.  I know this move is God's will for her and that she will be better off in the long run if she goes back home so her girls can grow up with family.  Afterall, that's the most important thing we have.
I love you, Tammy.  Thanks for being such a wonderful friend and confidante.  You have so much light ahead of you that it surrounds you like a halo.  Head toward it and never look back with regret!  You are the awesome spirit you are BECAUSE you saw your way through all the things you have been through, with God by your side.

Good luck.  I'll miss you.  You are a forever friend....

Melissa

We Are Blessed

I had occasion to go through Vilonia, AR today on my way to Conway for an appointment.  I have prayed many prayers for many days for the people there since we had that devastating April storm.  Although I hate to admit it, I have been wanting to see exactly how much destruction that tornado did in that unfortunate tiny town.

As embarrassing as it is to say this, the base, animal side of me wanted to be able to ooh and ahh over how much I figured I would see.  Kind of like when you pass a wreck and your head involuntarily jerks to the side just as you're going by.  It's as if some force takes over you and you have no control of which way your head goes.  You're mind says 'no,' but your body says 'I'm gonna.'  It's human nature.  I wonder why that is......That's for another day, though.

I had heard that the grocery store was gone.  I had heard that the town was unrecognizable.  I had heard that you couldn't even tell that there used to be a Sonic.  I was on the lookout for certain landmarks  to be gone that I use each time I go through Vilonia.  I wondered if the T-shirt shop would still be there.  I drove with anticipation and growing......something.....dread?.....excitement?  Boy, did I feel guilty.

But what I found as I slowly drove through (more slowly than usual--I didn't want to miss anything) was that there was more of Vilonia still in tact than there was destroyed.  But wait!  I thought Harp's was supposed to be gone.  I saw the Sonic looking as bright and red and yellow as ever.  There was the gas station and the T-shirt shop....

And you know, as it slowly dawned on me that all that I had heard was not what was true, I felt a sense of gratitude that somehow at least some of the tiny town of Vilonia was spared from that horrible night in April.  It was a welcome relief, actually.  I had no idea I would react that way, but as I continued driving through I thanked God for sparing all the people and places and things that were spared.  I really was thankful that so many more people survived than died, and so much more property was still standing than what was destroyed.

I prayed again for the people of Vilonia.  They need all the prayers and help they can get.  I thanked God for all the blessings in my life.  ALL of them, even the ones I don't see right now as blessings.  You know, the ones I currently see as thorns in my side.  I'm reminded of that song that goes..."Jesus bring the rain..." if that's what it takes to bring the blessings in this life.  I may have the lyrics wrong, but you get the gist.

We are all truly blessed by the Lord.  Driving through Vilonia today reminded me of just how much.

...on Motherhood

 Here are some of my thoughts on motherhood.

I think God gave women the greatest gift in the world when He gave us the ability to bear children and raise and nurture them.  I don’t want to diminish fathers by any stretch, but how awesome is it to carry a miraculous creation like a baby in your belly for nine months??!

I also think that God gives each child especially as a gift to his or her parents from Him.  I know that might sound weird to some, but I don’t believe that things happen by accident.  God sees you and the love you have to give, and decides that the soul of a child needs to be in your care.  I think that is incredibly wonderful.  He may not give you a child WHEN you want, or HOW you want, but He does what He knows is best in His time and for his purpose.

As a mother, I know that Iwill never be able to explain the love I have for my child.  It comes from above, and is a special bond that I will share with her for the rest of my life.  If I take care of that love, nurture it, grow it, play with it, I will have a lifetime enjoying my miraculous journey of motherhood.

Sometimes it's frustrating.  Most times it's awesome.  And as time goes by, it gets better and better.  I know there will be times when I don’t know what to do, and will have to rely on instinct and trial to find solutions to whatever problems arise in her life.  And there will be other times when the only thing that will help my baby out of a rough spot is one of my hugs that she will know her whole life come unconditionally, simply because I am her mother.

 I am so thankful to God for having the faith in me as a mother to charge me with bringing my daughter into this world and caring for her.  It is such an awesome responsibility and I take it very seriously.  I know I will never be a perfect mother, but I will always try my best to lead my daughter by example in character, and to make God the cornerstone in her life.  I believe that if I can successfully do that, and I can teach her to be independent, self-sufficient and self-respecting, then I will have done a mother's job. 

Loving God and loving yourself can only bring peace and contentment.  It's a lot easier said than done, but if we work on it daily, it is doable.  I once heard a quote, "I don't need easy, I just need possible."  Such an  insightful thing to say.  And so true for all of us mothers.

"The years teach much which the days never knew." - Emerson

"The years teach much which the days never knew." - Emerson

Wow.  What a powerful statement.  If I stop and think about it long enough, I can always find something I could do better, faster, more efficiently, with more care, more thoughtfully or with more depth.  Not a day goes by that I don't think, "Man, I should've done this today.  Why didn't I?" or "Oh, no, I shouldn't have said that." I'm sure to some extent everyone is like that.  The old "shoulda, woulda, coulda" statement when we feel like we weren't "enough" on a particular day.

I have spent literally YEARS beating myself up over what I COULD have done, or SHOULD have done, or SHOULDN'T have done.  But the fact remains that yesterday is yesterday, and today is today.  And tomorrow isn't here yet.  So why?  Why do I do this to myself, as I am sure millions of other other women do, too?

As I get older and (hopefully) a little wiser, I begin to realize that what has taken place in my life is what the quote from Emerson says; that if you take all the daily mishaps and mistakes, happenings and life lessons learned, the good, bad and ugly, what you get is a lifetime of knowledge on how to live your life.

I am so glad to be where I am in my life right now.  I am starting to realize that life is to be lived for today, with no regrets.  If I make all my decisions with that thought in mind, how can I go wrong?  That doesn't mean that I'm not going to make mistakes or wrong decisions.  It means that I have to live each day with conviction, knowing that tomorrow I will either look back with satisfaction (knowing I have done my best) or thinking that, "tomorrow, I know what I need to do to make it better."  It looks to me like a win-win situation.  That's pretty cool.

So many people look at aging as some kind of disease or condition.  It's not.  It's a blessing.  It gives us the opportunity to have a better life tomorrow, based on today.  Age brings wisdom, and wisdom brings peace.  What could be better?

Worrying/Wondering About The Kidlet

This might be a long one.  But something has been weighing on my mind, and I don't know what to do about it.  I guess as a mother I will always worry about my daughter.  I think it is hardwired into us women by default the moment we know that we are going to have a child.

But does worry ever go away?  I'm not talking necessarily about worrying for her safety or if she's going to get her feelings hurt at school, although I do worry about that, too.  I'm talking about worrying about her having a good, fulfilling, character-driven life.  I know that I did some stupid, inane things as I was growing up, some of which I'm not too proud.  But how did I become the person I am, with what I think is a good moral character?  Was it the fact that I always felt like I didn't measure up to what my mother expected, and so I am over compensating now for what I thought was a not-good-enough childhood? Is it the fact that I was raised in a church, even though at the time I had no interest and hated going?  Is it the fact that I had a sister with whom I shared a room for 18 years?  What was it?

I worry about my daughter because I see her doing some of the same things I did when I was her age, and maybe I think that if I can just keep her on the straight-and-narrow that she won't have to go through all the troubles I did.

I don't know.  I just want her to have a good life.  What that probably means is that I have to teach her what I know, show her how to get back up when she falls, and love her unconditionally.  But boy, is that hard.

I'm sure my mother would just laugh and shake her head if she read this, but if I could just make my daughter listen to me and I could keep her from getting herself into trouble with things that should be so easy, like doing her homework, her life would be so much easier!!!!  Ugh!!

I am a worrywart by design.  I come by it honestly, so please don't hold it against me.  Maybe I'm just having "one of those days."  I mean, she is only ten, after all.

Thanks for stopping by to let me vent.  I know things will work out for the best in the end.  They always do.  And I know that the only way to know how good you have it is to go through the muck sometimes.  Maybe this is the muck. :)

Wishy Washy Dishwasher

Why does my dishwasher have to go on the fritz the day before I have a huge crawfish boil (with 50 people) for my husband's 60th birthday party?  Well, I'll tell you.  Because I can't control anything!  When I think things are going along smoothly, I better check my rear-view mirror!  I just might have a cop chasing me!

I'm learning that I need to always be aware of what's going on around me, and pay attention.  The worse thing I can do is let my guard down when things are going smoothly.  I'm not saying that I have to be paranoid about everything.  I just mean that I need to have flexible plans that include dealing with the unpredictable happenings of life.  I have to make sure that I can handle whatever might upset the apple cart without losing my focus on what really matters.

Like tomorrow, for instance.  I have a large number of people coming over to have a party.  At this moment, I am sitting in my kitchen with the repairman, and he's telling me that the code he sees on my dishwasher isn't even in the user manual.  Then he gets on the phone to Sears and subsequently lets me know that the "LE" code means the dishwasher's motor has gone kaput; which equals $$$ mucho dinero.  So, okay, now I have to deal with not having a dishwasher with that many people coming over, and the fact that I probably have to buy a brand new one come Monday, keeping in mind that this one is just over a year old and coincidentally, just out of warranty.

Now that I know the problem, I can prioritize what has to happen next.  At this point, there is really nothing I can do about the dishwasher.  So hello Loving Hands gloves, dish soap and sink.
And now I can move on to other more pressing matters, like food, decorations and getting tables and chairs set up.

My point is this:  I know that things will not always turn out the way I want them to, and the dishwasher dying on me is just a timely example of that.  I learn as I get older that I can handle whatever is thrown at me if I remain mindful of this fact.  Things don't have to be perfect.  I just need to remain calm in the storm of life!  And I love storms!

I've been called a Wise (Old) Bird!

A wise old owl sat in an oak
The more he heard, the less he spoke
The less he spoke, the more he heard
Why aren't we more like that wise old bird?
-www.proverbs31.org

Got activated mobil-ly. Is that a word? Just checking to see if it works

Working Out is Working Out!

I've been secretly working out with a personal trainer for the past few weeks, not letting my husband know.  I want to see if he will notice a difference.  So far, nothing.  But I'm not discouraged.  I feel better than I have in years, and I know that all of this huffing and puffing is good for me.  So I'll probably tell him at the end of May, when I will have been working out about 2 months, twice a week.  I'm doing upper body and abs on one day, and lower body and abs on the other.  Whitney is kicking my butt, too.  But that's fine.  It needs it!

Whitney is not only my trainer, but a new and dear friend I happened upon at my daughter's school several months ago.  Our kids are in the same class and we started planning class parties together.  I am so glad I met her.  Such a sweet, kind, tough person.  I hope to see our friendship grow in the future.  I'll keep you updated.  The one thing I CAN tell you is that she doesn't consider our friendship when she's making me do exercises and killing me in the process!!

Braces for the Third Time!

I hope that compliance equals success, as I am committed to this third and LAST time of having braces.  The first time was when I was 12, second time a few years ago, and now I just got InvisAlign this morning.  They kind of feel like my old retainers did.  Can't really tell they're there, except my bite feels kind of weird.  This time I am not going to fudge.  I really want my teeth straight and my bite to be aligned.  It's frustrating knowing that this is my third time with braces and they still aren't right.  Not the ortho's fault, either.  Totally mine.  Although, my cat did eat one of my retainers the last time.  I feel sure that my teeth would have stayed put if I had worn my retainer.
Smile!